London Calling

Thursday, busy day. Breakfast, ethics, theater, religion, dinner. Tonight 5 of us went to the Imperial College Bar. We just sat at a round table in the back corner, listening to the Brit’s accents and talking and laughing. I laughed so hard, I had tears in my eyes, and after spending hours a day with these new people, I felt wonderfully comfortable, which makes such a difference in a foreign city.

London and I are getting to know each other, and like any other relationship, we’re taking our time. I have never liked to be rushed, and I still have over 3 months to fall in love. London and I just had our first date last week, and it took him a while to call me back. But, tonight, I picked up the phone and made the second date myself. Tomorrow we’re going to Tower of London and I am highly optimistic. Saturday morning we’re going out to brunch at Piccadilly Market, and a self-guided walking tour of the city, and a famous pizzeria for dinner (the one I wrote about earlier actually, we never ended up eating there it closes early on Sundays, which we didn’t realize). London and I are making progress, and I am excited to see what direction we are headed towards.

There are still moments where my need for my bed at home, a cheeseburger, and American TV are so strong I want to cry, but it’s no longer a constant pain. After almost 2 weeks, it’s more of a dull ach, in the back of my mind. It’s most prominent first thing in the morning, when the springs of the thin mattress are digging into my back and I miss making coffee and puttering around in the kitchen. Once I get busy during the day, with classes and friends, it eases. At night, it slips through the window with the cool night breeze, blowing the unfamiliar scent of London across the small room and my sleeping roommate. Lying there on the squeaky single bed, I crave my house, my school apartment, the instant relaxation home brings with the quiet of night, that is missing everywhere else I’ve been.

No longer am I extremely homesick, but just “people-sick”. I miss my family, my friends, and my dog. I am making friends, and the beauty of being away together is an instant closeness, a feeling of, we’re in this together. It’s a new experience for every one, so let’s make the best of it. The program is full of great kids, mostly juniors in college, from all across America. For many, it’s the first time out of the USA. I have been to Canada, Mexico, a few places in the Caribbean, and Brazil, but this is my first time in Europe, and it’s my first experience away for an extended period of time.

I am having a wonderful experience. This trip is something I needed to do, for me. My entire life, I have been blessed with family and friends who support and love me. I have this insane safety net of people with arms wide open throwing hugs and love to me. Even during my difficult freshman year of college at TCNJ, when I was unhappy and couldn’t wait to transfer, I could get away from the hard parts. On weekends, I went home, I went to my grandparents, I went to a friend’s in NYC; I had escape routes. Security blankets. Friends I could text and call constantly, both miles away and down the dorm hall. Here, I do not have an escape route. I am staying until May, make it or break it. No way out. I am making new friends and making my own safety net, with independence and determination and humor and fear and a thousand other emotions knitting it together, wrapping me up like a quilt.

But whenever I feel lonely or scared, I remember everyone at home who is thinking of me, and life is 10x better, because no matter where I go, I know my safety net will be waiting for me. Wishing you sweet dreams, I am finally going to sleep.