I ended up going home earlier then expected. Last Thursday night, my parents called. Snuggles, our dog, hadn’t been doing well all week and they’d taken her to the vet. Her kidneys were failing and she had bloody ulcers in her stomach. She was 13.5 years old, blind and hard of hearing with arthritis.
I cried for a while, and then changed my weekend plans. I was suppose to go home this upcoming weekend anyway, but with no improvement on Friday, I drove home. BF drove with me so I wouldn’t be alone, dwelling in the car. I drove him to Lancaster that night where his parents met us, so he could spend the weekend with his family too.
Freshman year, the first time I cam home from college, Snugs was so happy she jumped on me, squealing. Even though she had slowed down in the last few years, my return from England was still greeted with exuberant excitement.
Snugs was so weak, when we arrived on Friday. She was lying on the rug by the front door, one of her favorite spots, and she couldn’t even lift her head when I got home. I laid on my belly next to her and buried my face in the fluffy fur on her neck. Of all the times she has comforted me when I’ve cried, this weekend was the hardest.
To get her to drink water, we had to hold her upright and put the bowl under her nose. Wait a while. Hope she would drink a little. All weekend, she barely ate anything. We bribed her with Milkbone biscuits broken into tiny pieces, and by Sunday she was refusing them as well. The last few days my dad has been breaking baked chicken into tiny pieces and trying to feed her that, but by this morning, she wouldn’t take any food at all.
I am so glad I went home last weekend. Kyle came home on a bus to Philly and was picked up late Friday night. We spend Saturday with Snugs, as a family. It was a different type of family time then I’ve experienced before, a time of preperation and mourning because anyone who has grown up with a pet knows, they are a member of your family more then anything.
I spent the weekend cuddling my dog, getting ready to let go. I get that it is the circle of life, and the hardest part is that animals never live as long as we do. I understand that she has had a wonderful life, and been absolutely adored. She was old and it was her time to go. But she is the largest loss I have ever experienced, blessedly, and it broke my heart to say goodbye on Sunday.
Tonight, my parents made the difficult to decision to put her down. She hasn’t really eaten in over a week, and she has just gone downhill since the weekend. I hate the idea of going home without her, but I know she is at peace now, and no longer in pain, and that is comforting.
Dogs love unconditionally, forgive instantly, are loyal and true their whole lives. Every penny ever spent on Snugs she repays 1000 times over. I love you Snug-a-bug-a-boo. You will always be missed.
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